marbleann

(2012-04-27 21:52:11)

Barney Fife Must be the Police Chief

This is one of those so bad it's good movies. First off this familymoves to this college town. It seems like they have a house on campusbut I am not sure. But mention was made of the neighbor living on thecampus for years. The husband has gotten a job working at the school.Where he replaced a Professor who ran off, disappeared or was killed.The family has a son who I thought was possessed from the start. Herarely utters a word. People talk to him but he doesn't talk back. Hehas no reaction to anything. Even a person getting run over by a truck.The mother I think is a little odd too. She seems to be put off andannoyed with everybody. The husband seems to be the only person in thefamily that acts normal. I am not sure if the mother kind of knew abouther son or just was not attentive. Because the boy utters to his mothersomething about her being pregnant and she says she is not pregnant.But a few scenes later we find out she is. Why didn't the mother thinkit was odd that her son seemed to be some type of fetus whisperer.The doctor tells the wife and husband that she has to stay still and inbed because she might lose the baby. Well the next thing you know hetells them they get a nurse and a nanny for the boy. Their health plantakes care of that. I can see a nurse but a nanny too. Must be aspecial health plan. Well that was just a way to get some of the cultmembers in the house to watch the boy and the mother.There is a crazy neighbor who is trying to kill the boy before his 11thbirthday which falls on 11/11/11. Yes because of that he is going to beresponsible for the Apocalypse and that is what they want to happen. Myquestion what about all the other soon to be 11 year old with the samebirthday? In any case the father soon sees something is up and he triesto stop it. Now I am not going to tell the end. But let's say numerouspeople are killed including a cop being blown up and no one seems tonotice. I have to mention also that the whole town does not belong tothis cult. The cops obviously are not in it. So why no mention of allof these dead bodies that keep on turning up? People are getting killedin broad daylight. And there is the required levitation scene that allof these types of movies must have.I say if you love movies that are so bad they are good, take a look.But if you don't, skip it because you will never get that time back.For you folks I told some of the plot and plot pot holes so you candecide if you want to waste your time or not. I understand there is asequel, hopefully it doesn't disappoint and it is as awful as thismovie is.

movieman_kev

(2012-04-27 05:19:46)

Asinine Asylum

Jack and Mellisa Vales soon suspect that the 'spooky' coincidences thatoccur at their new house could have to do with their son, who alsomight happen to be Satan. Or the person that founded the Asylum moviecompany, they're pretty indistinguishable from each other.It's an Asylum film, so telling you that it's cheap, badly acted, orobscenely tedious would be an exercise in redundancy. To be perfectlyblunt, I no longer really blame them for releasing an unending putridstream of cinematic atrocities. They must make money from some gulliblesap out there. Having instant Netflix,however, I don't waste my money,just my time (which is also a travesty in its own way)My Grade: F+