guiltron

(2012-05-01 00:25:14)

Humor and violence - Grindhouse style

Machete is Robert Rodriguez's film based on his mock trailer made forthe double grindhouse release of Quentin Tarantino's Death Proof andhis own Planet Terror. B-Grade superstar Danny Trejo stars as the titlecharacter. Those that have seen the mock trailer, or the grindhousefilms, know the style of yester-year that Machete is representing.Cheap, nasty, and funny is the order of the day for this kind of film.Rodriguez clearly knows his genre and audience. He goes all out withthis over-the-top action flick. The story is, of course, ridiculous.Machete is betrayed by some "above the law" dudes and has to getrevenge by slicing and dicing whoever gets in his way. The film doeswhat it says on the cover. Don't go in expecting a glimmer of subtletyor characterization. Go in expecting action, titties, action, blood,titties, oh and action. This would be all well and good except for someslight problems. The unashamedly preachy messages against theMexican/United States border does get a bit tiring, as does therepetitive nature of the violence (after some interesting action set-pieces they all become similar, except towards the end). Also, thiskind of film needs to be much snappier and shorter. It's around twentyminutes too long so that the humor and overall style tends to drag on abit. Machete holds it's tongue permanently in cheek and Danny Trejomilks every scene as much as he possibly can. Jessica Alba, MichelleRodriguez and Lindsay Lohan all make for good eye candy and there aresome very funny moments. All in all, this exercise in grindhouse excessshould keep the fans of this style very happy, even if it can slightlybore others.

(2012-04-30 14:22:52)

A Taste of Texas. Action doesn't get much better.

This review is from: Machete (DVD) Usually, ultra-violence leaves me cold, but this masterpiece of retro 70's action and Spaghetti Westerns, had my laughing as Machete slashed his way to my heart. As a Texan, this film was not only campy, funny and enjoyable; it also had ring a truth to it. Except, all the militia guys here in Texas are from Michigan. Also, the Mexicans, rarely hang at those day labourer places. Most already have jobs lined up, and as depicted in fellow Austinite Richard Linkleter's Fast Food Nation. Corrupt Politicians and law enforcement working with Drug Cartels. That plot seems pretty right to me, and its not even supposed to be taken seriously.To me, this was the best of Grindhouse films. It was so nice seeing Danny Trejo as the good guy and lovable. I can't wait for Machete Kills Again!

(2012-04-28 09:08:58)

Tongue-in-cheek classic

This review is from: Machete (DVD) This one is not only "sharp", it is also a true "cut-up" (no puns intended). Take a simple plot such as "closing the borders" and turn it into a thriller...with comedic undertones and lots of GORE (but not overdone). Robert Rodriguez is at his best. If you recall, he also directed "Terror Planet"...the first of a double feature on the "Grindhouse" DVD...and "Sin City". "Machete" is much better...a great cast...lots of beautiful women...shoot-em-up scenes...revenge...twists...and special effects. How can you miss with Danny Trejo as "Michete" and a supporting cast of Jessica Alba, Robert De Niro, Jeff Fahey, Steven Seagal, Cheech Marin, Don Johnson and (yes) Lindsay Lohan. All 5 stars...but don't let the kids watch this one...too much violence, realistic revenge, and adult themes. Put the popcorn in the microwave...have a bottle of beer or glass of wine...and enjoy the ride.

Thomasamills

(2012-04-27 15:05:46)

Rodriguez At His Blistering Best

Roberet Rodriguez finally lets Danny Trejo be the leading man in thisover the the top splat fest after working with him numerous timesbefore. Well, the wait to see Trejo as a ledaing man is finally over.Like many other Rodriguez fans I thought that the fake trailer forMachete which was shown at the start of Planet terror, was fantasticand looked like it should be a Rodriguez film. Not just a fake trailer.Even though I really enjoyed Planet terror (infact I prefer it toDeathproof, which is saying something as I am a die hard Tarantino fan)I could not get the Machete trailer out of my head after the film. Thenews that the fake trailer would become a full length feature film waslike my prayers being answered.Danny Trejo is Mechete. One of the most memorable characters from aRodriguez film since Clooney and Tarntino's Gecko brothers back in19996 in From Dusk Til Dawn. There is no surprise that Tom Savini makesan appearance, although I was surprised how under used he was. RobertDe Nero unfortunately doesn't bring much to the table and neither diesSteven Seagal or Jessica Alba. However I was impressed by MichelleRodriguez and the brief moments spent on screen by Lindsey Lohan wereamusing.I personally would have liked to see a Tarantino cameo, butbeggars can't be choosers.The film is solid on story either, however it has enough of a plot tokeep the film going just over 90 minutes. The reason why I enjoyed thefilm so much though isn't because of the plot or performances. It'swatching Rodriguez give the audience a blast through his films. Theviolence is as gory as it can be, whilst also being aware its alltongue and cheek. The action is as extravagant as you can imagine withcountless amounts of blades, bullets and babes.Although it's hardly a memorable action film, its great while it'sthere. It's pure Rodriguez through and through and I am sure fans ofhis other films will not be disappointed.

socrates99

(2012-04-26 20:34:54)

Amazing how a little Alba and Rodriguez can spice things up

This film attempts to pay homage to those B movies favored by drive-insway back in the 50s and 60s. Only I was there and I don't recall theirbeing like this. They were actually pretty boring for all the crappywriting and acting. This movie's much more entertaining though that'snot exactly a high bar.Danny Trejo's a great guy, no doubt, and I can see why Mr Rodriguezwould want to help him out with a leading role, but I'm afraid Danny'sjust too old to star in an action flick. He moves like a refrigeratorand you're never sure all the lights are on upstairs anyway. But, nevermind, apparently Mr Trejo has garnered a few friends over the years,and it pays off big time here. Try Robert De Niro, Don Johnson, JessicaAlba, Michelle Rodriguez, Cheech Marin, and even Steven Seagal andLindsay Lohan on for size.The movie proper is middling entertaining but the high points aremostly Jessica's and Michelle's, not Danny's or any of the heavyhitters tagging along. Couldn't get my eyes off Jessica every timeshe's on screen. Unfortunately, the same goes for Michelle, which madetheir scenes together particularly rewarding. Not so much Lindsay whomostly looked angry, which is a shame as I normally find her ratherattractive too.

Simon Weaving

(2012-04-26 15:23:41)

An irreverent and comically bloody tale of revenge and racism on the USA-Mexico border, brought to you by Robert Rodriguez as a parody of 1970's exploitation cinema.

Gargoyle26

(2012-04-24 13:35:07)

Could've been an excellent Action film

I rented this from Netflix instead of spending $ at the theater. Thefirst 20 minutes or so I thought another excellent Rodriguez film withplenty of action, humor etc. but then it went into another directioncentering on the illegal immigration making the U.S.A. out to be thebad guy once again that we basically hate Mexican's in general which isBS. Have enjoyed previous films' from Robert Rodriguez but this turkeyof distorted details created by those making the film and felt thatintegrating their views into an action film with talented individualsthough Seagal & Alba were bad and/or unconvincing in their roles wouldwork to their advantage, well they failed. Staying to the end hopingthat it would improve and though it had some good action and humor inspots it wasn't enough.

Amy Biancolli

(2012-04-24 01:51:37)

The whole thing is monumentally gruesome and just as monumentally cynical, a riot of grisly clichГ©s designed to titillate and amuse.

Limara Salt

(2012-04-21 13:06:19)

Yet another missed opportunity from Rodriguez who relies on hammy performances from acting legends instead of adequately attempting to recreate the genre he claims to love.

John Beifuss

(2012-04-21 10:59:42)

The trailer was better...

mikebidwell

(2012-04-19 19:40:41)

One of the all-time worst movies

This is without a doubt one of the 10 worst movies I have ever seen,and probably breaks the top 3. For a film that drew in as many big nameactors as this one did, I expected better entertainment value. This isnothing but a thinly veiled attempt to tell America that illegalimmigration is a non-issue. The plot line was terrible. The directingwas cheesy and campy, even for a movie that was intentionally so. Theaction sequences were extremely unbelievable, and the dialogue wasabsolutely horrendous. If there was a redeeming quality at all (andthis is extremely circumspect), it would be Lindsey Lohan in herbirthday suit. Avoid this film at all costs. If I had it to do overagain, I would have spent this two hours learning to darn socks, orsome other obsolete pass- time. Don't waste your dollar in Redbox forthis one. So glad I had a free code, but this was a waste of even that.

stallone-9

(2012-04-19 11:21:51)

Machete delivers

So right to the point Machete was *beep* awesome and Rodriguez redeemedhimself after producing the $hitty Predators film.Danny Trejo is verycharismatic and 100% cool as hell and hopefully will be the main starof many upcoming flicks(at the beginning of the end credits thenarrator says Machete will return in Machete KILLS and Machete KILLSAGAIN!!!:)All the cast delivered except for Lohan(she was the majorweak link in the film)my personal favorites were Trejo of course andFahey as the sadistic,vile and a total douche bag Benz(who's alsosexually attracted to his daughter).Cheech Marin s Padre was one of themain attractions with his absolutely kick ass supporting role and diesspectacularly as always(being crucified and getting nailed with pins byFahey).Michelle Rodriguez and Jessica Alba were both 100% sexy anddelivered whatever acting skills they got however I definitely thinkMichelle was the better one in this film both in terms of sex appealand character.Seagal as Torrez had very little screen time but didgood(chopping Machete wife's head in the beginning was badass)and had ahilariously bad Spanish accent.The final Seagal/Trejo fight was shortbut well choreographed and ends up in a hilarious way which I won'tspoil cause you gotta see if for yourselves :).De Niro was always solidin his portrayal as a corrupt senator who's selfish and self loving(DeNiro also has a hilarious accent in this).Don Jonson had very littlescreen time but he succeeded in being a total ass hole who you justcan't wait to die(too bad his death was off screen)The action sceneswere excellent and bloody make no mistake Machete delivered on theviolence(guts get ripped out,heads are chopped aplenty,faces arepenetrated with sharp objects (even a high heel to the eye ball) yeahjust gotta love the Rodriguez violence.There was a lot of humor such asthe "Machete don't text " line by Trejo,a girl pulling a self phone outof her pussy in the beginning(gotta love the sound it makes),Machetemaking out with Benz's wife and daughter...The film never takes itselfseriously and that works hugely in its favor but we all knew that rightafter the first fake trailer right?On the downside there is LindzeyLohan and he absolutely irritating April character which I so wanted todie but it didn't happen instead the girl dressed as a nun shoots adozen men at the end like a pro out of nowhere seeking revenge afterthe senator for killing her dad.The entire scene was badly pulled offand just didn't work don't know why Rodriguez cast her at all?And theother flaw is that the director of Predators Nimrod Antal appears notonce but twice and Machete doesn't kill him?!They guy at least deservesa film death:( but aside from that the film is ridiculouslyentertaining and totally badass hope Machete KILLS arrives soon a 9/10from me.

(2012-04-07 19:41:44)

Michete

This review is from: Machete (DVD) I love the main actor Danny Treo, but this movie is just CAMPY. I was very disappointed. Why would anyone hire Lindsey Lohann she is an idiot and their are way sexier young hot female actresses, who could have done her role. I liked Cheech Maron as the priest, the best part of the movie. I am happy Cheech is still doing some roles. I also thought Michele Rodriguez was pretty cool as She. But I thought Jessica Alba's character stunk. She didn't fit at all in this movie. I would have had Michele Rodriguez play that part. Jessica is not tough and gritty enough for this kind of movie. Don't get mad at me Danny you are a great talent but this film needed more Machete and less Jessica. Also get rid of Jeff Fahee he is a washed out second stringer.

kushalb24

(2012-04-07 09:26:13)

Total Fun Spoiler

Its just another high end action movie, that makes an adrenaline rushin the audience. The young and action loving audience, usually likethat kind of movies. Rambo, Terminator Salvation, The Expendables aregood examples of such kind of movies. It would be an over statement to put this movie in even that category.I was totally in mood of watching a high action movie. But the weirdscenes in it, just too much beyond the logic(though logic should not bewatched for in high action movies), turned the whole good effort into aMESS.Director could not decide, whether he wants the audience to enjoy moviefor its ACTION scenes, or its STORY. On the whole, it was a messbetween story, action also resulting in many Goof-ups.I would never suggest one to watch this movie, if you are in mood ofwatching a high end action movie, because even these movies demandclear story and no mess.

masercot

(2012-04-04 14:10:41)

Delivered

I am not the only one who wanted to see Danny Trejo star in a movie.And, the man did not disappoint. This was an enjoyable movie with acast that could best be described as eclectic.Lindsey Lohan was probably the biggest disappointment. She isn't muchof an actor and actually made Steven Segal seem deep by comparison.Jessica Alba was enjoyable as an FBI agent. Robert De Niro seemed likeoverkill for a part that could've been played by any competent actor.Make no mistake, this is a violent movie. The first five minutes givethe view an indication as to how violent. Blood, brains and intestinesare splattered every few minutes, only interrupted by some voluptuousnudity and smatterings of plot.But, it delivers as a grind-house movie, beautifully. If you arelooking for brilliant acting or a tight plot, you will definitely wantto go anywhere else; however, for a movie that looks as if it weretaken right out of the projection room of a seventies drive-in theater,you can't do better than Machete...

davideo-2

(2012-04-04 08:55:14)

Worthy enough big screen adaptation of Grindhouse trailer

STAR RATING: ***** Saturday Night **** Friday Night *** Friday Morning** Sunday Night * Monday Morning Mexican Federale Machete (Danny Trejo) embarks on a suicide mission inhis native Mexico against drug lord Torrez (Steven Seagal), who hasbribed every law enforcement agency under the sun. The mission fails,and the fire of vengeance is left burning in Machete's heart whenTorrez kills his wife. Years later, he's working as an illegalimmigrant in the US, ever under the thumb of Border Patrol cop Sartana(Jessica Alba), until Government Agent Booth (Jeff Fahey) forces himinto a corner and assigns him to take out Senator McLoughlin (Robert DeNiro), an anti immigrant election candidate who wants to build a giantelectric fence to stop Mexicans crossing the border. He goes ahead, butfinds himself set up before he can go through with his mission. Andwhen he learns who is helping McLoughlin for funding with his fence, itsets Machete on a double mission of retribution.Adapted as a film from the very unusual medium of a fake trailer inanother film, Machete has proved to be even more of a success than it'sinspirational source. Inspired by the Quentin Tarantino started crazeof 1970s 'Grindhouse' themed movies currently enjoying a cultappreciation in the theatres, it itself does away with too much of thecackling screen and shoddy film-reeling, and plays like more of amodern, straight up action film, albeit one with more of an intricatestory with a bit of depth to it. That said, when the action scenes docome on, they are delivered with the flair and style that's required,including a fantastic finale, with guns blazing everywhere andexplosions galore. Aside from this, with Robert Rodriguez as one of thedirectors, you can be guaranteed a lot of the action will be of theblood letting variety, and there's plenty of that here, including aman's intestines being used by our hero to swing from a building to theground below! Some of the cast do better than others. In the main lot, De Nirodelivers what is becoming an ever increasingly apathetic performance asthe villainous senator, while Fahey as the corrupt agent mumblesrelentlessly and delivers all the facial emotion of a dead fish. Butthe side is saved by Seagal, surprisingly effective in the firstvillainous role I've seen him in, though his end showdown with Macheteisn't the sum of it's parts thanks to him now being far too badly outof shape. But best of all is Trejo as the titular Federale, the meanestMexicano anti-hero since El Mariachi, in a role he was born to play.That's not to mention a support cast that ranges from the likes ofMichelle Rodriguez and Don Johnson to the likes of Lindsay Lohan, whichshould give you some indication of the quality range on offer.This enjoyed a fairly hasty exit from UK cinemas, which is a shame, asdespite not being an unforgettable action film, it's still one of thebetter ones to have come out in a while. ***

Rich Cline

(2012-04-04 15:57:07)

While it's riotously entertaining, there's nothing much to it.

Philip French

(2012-04-04 02:36:58)

[A] tongue-in-cheek, knife-in-guts action thriller...

(2012-03-31 09:24:39)

was excited to see...before I watched it

Great movie, it bashes both sides equally, Conservatives and liberals. Saying that, i was laughing during the whole movie. It really does shove both sides into the wood chipper. Nice to see Trejo in another movie, nice to Michelle Rodriguez in a good movie again... because Avatar was reallly bad! Don Johnson and Robert De Niro also did a great job. "She" and the "Che" connection, i didnt get it at first, but i was laughing later when it sunk in. Funny show.... ridiculous funny. If you like movies like Desperado (Special Edition) and Grindhouse Presents, Death Proof - Extended and Unrated (Two-Disc Special Edition).... you'll love Machete.

Rossiter Drake

(2012-03-30 19:38:29)

Rodriguez emphasizes style over substance, but the sheer audacity of his vision - the energy, the inventiveness, the extremes to which he's willing to take his gruesome sight gags - is his salvation.