Mr_Ghostface_Lives

(2012-04-20 12:26:02)

Jesus Christ! This is a MOVIE?

Okay. So there aren't really that many great movies around. Recent gemslikeAmerican Dream, The Straight Story and even Toy Story 2 don't normallycomeso close together. But boy (!) does this film counter-balance thequality.I have NO idea what these people thought they were doing. Are thefinanciersin this world so easily convinced to fund such a crock of ****? I can justsee it now...Producer - "So we've got Joe Fiennes. He's cute as a button and was prettygood in Shakespeare in Love. And we've got Rhys Ifans, who isn't cute butwas cool in Notting Hill. We'll mix in a really mediocre score, a fewforgettable post-Britpop tunes, hemlock root and lizard brains and heypresto you've got the worst film of the new millennium.And believe me,it'sgonna be a hard job to make anything as bad as this in the next thousandyears."The Bank - "I like it! Any unnecessary sex? Bad camera movements? And whatabout the worst accents this side of Devil's Own?"Producer - "Yeah, we got plenty of those."The Bank - "Sounds great, where do we sign?"Please.

stephen-henry

(2012-04-19 23:42:47)

Rancid is right!!!

There is no doubt that this film has an impressive cast butunfortunately this doesn't help with the major downsides to the movie.I never understand why directors ask actors/actresses to use accentsnot their own when it is obvious to everyone they can't convince.Fiennes just can't do Irish and Fitzgerald isn't much better atRussian. When the voice is wrong then no matter how good the acting thecharacter will never be convincing. As the for the major problem....theplot....was there one? I guess there was some sort of storylineinvolved but it was so full of holes that I just couldn't wait for thefilm to end...it was ridiculous. Save 90 minutes of your life and don'twatch this movie!

Peter Thomas

(2012-04-14 09:58:12)

Mixed up mess

Just before I saw this film, I met James Hawes at a book signing. Heseemedpretty upbeat about the release of the film however reading an interviewwith him later he knew at the time that the film was rubbish.An brief, Rancid Aluminium is a good book, it followed on from his debut(White Merc With Fins) which was probably the best book I have read for along time. But when he came to make the film he rewrote the book to fitthecharacter of Rhys Ifans which was a big mistake.The old main character was a suburban, early 30s guy, they changed this toatwenty something urbanite and the whole premise for the story wasbroken.Add to this some major twists in the plot which have no explanation, holesyou could drive a truck through and and ending which leaves you thinking'what the f**k happened there then..?'.Also they made a major mistake adding in a scene to get the only funny bitof the book (the fight on the motorway) into the film which only seemed todisjoint the film even more.I was a big fan of James Hawes books, but this film (and also his latestbook) have really dampened this enthusiasm. I only hope that his otherbook(WMWF) which is being shot now continues and makes a better picture thanthis.

Gordon-11

(2012-04-13 19:49:02)

Avoid this chaotic mess

This film is about a man's life going wrong. His business is failing,and he cannot impregnate his wife despite multiple attempts.The plot is complete chaos. It simply does not make sense. In fact,nothing in the film makes sense. The story is so poorly told that Isimply could not understand it. It is a shame, because the sets andcostumes are done well, and are visually stimulating enough. The shotsare well composed throughout the film. However, these redeemingfeatures still cannot make up for the bad plot and poor story telling.I am amazed by the big names who agreed to star in this film. It issuch a waste of their talents. This film is very bad. Avoid it!!

davideo-2

(2012-04-11 05:35:00)

Rancid film for the most part as well,unfortunately.

STAR RATING:*****Unmissable****Very Good***Okay**You Could Go Out For A MealInstead*Avoid At All CostsRancid Aliminium,like most gangster type films of it's ilk,did,ofcourse,have the potential to be great.There are some intriguing and excitingnew ideas to be explored here,but unfor-tunately,they are mostly squandered by what is mostly the film's biggestdownfall,the frenetic and ill-explored pace at which it sets itself intoaction.It seems like a hodgepodge of ideas from each of the differentgenres:Comedy,thriller,GangsterMovie,action,all of which are concocted together at various different pointsto make up for a confusing and too fast paced for it's own good story.Mostof the performances were very disappointing too:Rhys Ifans,in the leadrole,was the best thing on offer,obviously trying to make his role stand outmore than it could have,maybe even taking sympathy on the over zealousscreenwriter so that his electric work could not fail('I was obviously born to mow lawns ,and look after goldfish!')But Josepth Fiennes emerged as routinely cold as his villainous brother,notreally standing out as to why he was any worse than Rhys,whilst Sadie Frostas a russian bad girl babe clearly thought she was starring in the new JamesBond film.The title did'nt make an awful lot of sense,either.And yet,as ever,any IMDB members who are situated in Britain like me whoplay the national lottery know exactly who is ultimately responsible for themaking of this kind of film:us.**

wozza10

(2012-04-10 14:51:26)

Without doubt the worst film I've ever witnessed

I read James Hawes book. It was pretty neat, not great, butentertaining enough. Without having read the book I wouldn't have hadthe slightest idea what was going on, and it was still a stretch withthat knowledge.Literally every element of this film is abysmal in ways I do not havethe capacity to describe. Half digested fish could have made a betterfilm with matchsticks and dayglo lipstick.Never before or since as a film made me feel so angry. The Mattresssequels came closest, but even they never reached such depths ofutterly putrid nauseating appallingness that this bilge did.Since wasting 90 minutes of my life witnessing this plague on humankind I am now unable to even look at any book by James Hawes withoutfeeling angry. That is the depth of hatred I have for this piece ofsh*t. No, that's unfair. Let me apologise to all fecal matter forcomparing you to the otherworldly evil that is Rancid Aluminium.Plain and simply a cancer on the world of cinema.

lutewhine

(2012-03-27 15:43:29)

I demand an hour and a half of my life back

First of all, I should've known better than to go to see a film that wasbeing flyposted around London with a recommendation from The Daily Staremblazoned at the top of it. Second of all, the only reason I went at allwas because my girlfriend was in a post-Shakespeare In Love Joseph Fiennesphase.And oh dear god it's bad. It doesn't help that it makes absolutely nosense,mainly due to some of the most jarring cuts I've ever seen outside a GCSEfilm project. One scene in particular threw me entirely when Rhys Ifans'character was in London one minute, being vaguely threatened by someclichedheavy, but once I'd glanced away for a second (probably checking my watch)Ilooked up to find that he was suddenly in Russia, being sneered at by somedifferent cliched heavies. Elsewhere the editing is seriously misguided -several times the film lingers on pointless scenes featuring female flesh,while seemingly integral plot points are rushed through, patched togetherunsatisfactorily by a hammy voiceover.Both Fiennes and Ifans - actors I rate - are quite terrible, but words canonly hint at how appalling Steven Berkoff is in this film. He pretty muchonly says one word (several times) - "Beeeeeeeezneeeeeeesss", and everytimehe did I couldn't help but think that he was gradually making his villaininRambo 3 seem like an acting tour de force.I've never once walked out on a film before. I'm clearly too stubborn - wewere the only two people that DIDN'T walk out at the screening weattended.Comfortably the worst film I have ever paid so endure.

bob the moo

(2012-03-27 03:13:21)

Poor Brit gangster film that will only appeal to little boys

Pete Thompson's father dies and leaves him the whole business. However hisfriend and business accountant, Sean Deeny, reveals that the business is inmajor trouble with the taxman. To get past the problem Sean and Pete gointo business with the Russian mafia. However Pete has other plans to getrich, while Sean just wants to have kids and have a quietlife.In the past few years the spate of British gangster films has been very muchone of copies of `Lock Stock' etc. Some of them manage to be different andclever enough to work, but many are poor copies that lack any style orsubstance. Unfortunately for my evening, Rancid Aluminium falls within thelatter category. The plotting is very poor, it is rambling and has nothingresembling tension or gripping narrative. In essence it is a short filmwith all the scenes stretched out to longer than they can sustain. The endresult is a loose mess of a plot that doesn't really hang together atall.The film can't manage the style of Lock, Stock – instead it feels forced,maybe this was the director's first film – it certain feels like he istrying to impress someone with old ideas that are fresh to him. The scriptalso fails to really bring any characters out, instead they are pretty muchall flat clichés. Now, I know the same is true of those in Lock, Stock andSnatch, but at least these had some redemption by being funny and tongue incheek at points. Here that is pretty much not the case with any of thecharacters. Ifans makes good effort but is hampered by the script, he isthe best of a poor bunch. Fiennes is awful, no sooner had he got theperfect career springboard in `Shakespeare in Love' then he does this. Hisaccent is awful and his overall performance is weak. Fitzgerald, Frost andBehr all just line up to be naked and have their sex scenes. It is slightlydegrading to see the film be so unimaginative that it just has regular sexscenes to keep the audience interested. Berkoff and Allen are hammy andpretty pointless.Overall this film has few if any redeeming qualities. Any it does have arebecause it copied it from other, better films. It is full of nonsense thatthe director mistook for style or modern wit. A real waste of time andeffort.

Robert Clarke

(2012-03-20 05:24:48)

One of the worst films I have ever seen

This is a truly abysmal `LOCK STOCK' clone with a stellar cast and aterrible script. I have no idea why so many top British actors signed up tothis junk, they must have been bribed. A miss match of a storyline goes onforever and ever and ever and if I hadn't have paid good money for it I'dhave turned it off after 10 minutes. Not the worst film ive ever seen, thathonour goes to the truly pathetic used bogroll of a ‘movie' (I use the termloosely) `GUMMO' (I feel like suing that so called `director' for the losthour and a half of my life) but this trash is nearly right down there withit. Definitely one of the worst 5 films I have ever seen. Stuff like thisreminds Hollywood that they don't have a monopoly on truly awfulfilms.

NewCartesian

(2012-03-19 11:17:27)

without any imagination

We know from other movies that the actors are good but they cannot savethe movie. A waste of time.The premise was not too bad.But one workable idea (interaction between real bussinessmen and Russianmafia) is not followed by an intelligent script

Nik Webster

(2012-03-19 02:43:05)

Review of Rancid Aluminium

I felt Rancid Aluminium was a complete waste of two hours, the plot linewasthin and confusing, the prestigious line up of players had some terribledialogue and extremely questionable accents.The camera work was somewhat experimental in places and although it couldbeseen what the director was trying to convey, it just made it even moredifficult to watch.One of the most annoying aspects of Rancid Aluminium is the over use ofnarration throughout the film almost like the entire plot is beingdictatedto the audience.The best performances weren't anything to do with acting. In factprobablythe most convincing performance came from Dani Behr of all people,althoughadmittedly does play the stereotypical office secretary.DO NOT under any circumstance go and see this movie unless you need areasonto catch up on some lost sleep, there are certainly better ways to spendyour hard earned cash.

Ed Scammell

(2012-03-18 11:23:50)

15 Seconds of Fame

I have given this film an elevated rating of 2 stars as I personallyappear in minutes 42 and 43 of the film....the road side bar scene inRussia. In this scene the director of the movie offered me the immortalline - "50 Dollars..you Drink and Talk", but I felt that my Polishcounterpart could speak in a more convincing Russian accent than Icould, so I declined to take this speaking part on. I was slightlystarstruck as this was my first Film experience....and who knows...these lines could have ended up there with lines such as "I'll be Back"and "Quite Frankly My Dear, I Don't Give a Damn". Had I spoken that oneline then my name would appear in the credits of Rancid Aluminium as'Heavy 1' instead of the name of Ryszard Janikowski. As time goes on, I am counting myself lucky that my name is in no wayconnected to this film.Even though I spent a whole day on the set, in South Wales hot-spotBarry Island, no one could tell me what the actual storyline was. Thecaterers and the wardrobe lady all concurred that it appeared to have alot of swearing and nudity in it..... things could certainly have beenworse if I'd ended up naked in this most dreadful of films....Still.....On the positive side....I got chatting to Rhys Ifans duringone break. I had no idea who he was, as "Notting Hill" was yet to bereleased, and not an inkling that he might be Welsh. Made variousinappropriate comments about what an awful pit Barry Island had becomesince my childhood visits there in the 70s and 80s. It was only whenKeith Allen showed up that I realised I was in a qualityproduction........

dogsdildos

(2012-03-09 17:36:14)

Those who should know, KNOW!

All these armchair critics dont know nothing, this is a brilliant film ofgangsterism and wicked performances from Rhys, Sadie, Steve, Tara, Jo,Tony,Keith, Dani, Bazzer, Josh and Olegaro et al - strong, no-holds-barredrelentless in yer face direction from the man Edward Thomas(V) and a greatproduction from the whole Friction Factory. I must stress I have no realrelation to this independent production company or any of the charactersinvolved, I'm just a lover of good British films and this is one of thebest! Nice one boys, good one James, keep it up Jo, big up Ed,WICKED!

darren_steven

(2012-03-09 04:49:36)

RANCID FILM

I have seen bad films but this took the p***. Made no sense, and all thecharacters do is swear every couple of seconds, oh and i think one has alowsperm count. Its that good. A welshman plays a sweary cockney. A poshenglish bloke plays a foul mouthed unlovable rogue of a paddy, and somelesser lights play dim tarts.And there are some Russian gangsters. Oh yes some one has a gun and maybetalks rubbish whilst high on drugs.Avoid this film like the plague.

filmfreak-5

(2012-03-06 21:05:58)

Well, this was definately strange!

Well, this was definately strange! I might have to watch this film againcause I'm pretty sure I missed something. It offered a lot of mild laughsalong the way, it's totally dark humoured, very absurd and suurealistic inmany ways...I'm still stunned as so what happenend, cause I'm sure I still see a lotofloose ends - either this film is totally horrible or a stroke ofgeniousity....I truly hope it is the last mentioned, otherwise it looksgleam for the people behind this flick..Pretty funny to see Rhys Ifans in this flick. I knew I had seen himbefore,but it wasn't until I looked him up at imdb that I noticed that he wasactually the only one lighting up "Notting Hill" with his brilliantperformance as Hugh Grants' roommate...?/10

Giles Cresswell

(2012-03-06 12:14:46)

Rancid Adaptation

I have not yet decided whether this will replace Anaconda as "The WorstFilmI Have Ever Seen".Even if you ignore the dodgy accents, low production values and appallingcamera work this film has absolutely nothing going for it. I only went tosee it as I had read the book and wanted to see how they would work thecomplicated plot into a 2 hour film.The simple answer is - they didn't. Characters appear with little to noexplanation as to who they are and then proceed to play no valuable partinthe narrative. Even the main characters act without reason so that by thetime the film reaches it's climax you don't care what happens to any ofthem.I can accept that books occasionally need to be rewritten to fit into filmsand that it is perhaps unfair to judge this film against the book it wasadapted from. But after my friends and I came out of the cinema I had tospend most of the journey home explaining what was supposed to havehappened.They even change the true meaning of the books title "Rancid Aluminium" bysqueezing it into yet another piece of pointless voice over just so theycanallow the film to have a cool title.A real mess of a film from start to finish.

Mr Ghostface

(2012-03-06 07:46:50)

And this film was about WHAT?

I usually try to construct reasonably well-argued critiques of films, but Ican not believe this got past the script stage. The dialogue is appalling,the acting very dodgy, the accents just awful, and the direction and pacingis scrappy at best.I don't remember the last time I saw a film quite this bad. Joseph Fiennes,pretty as he is, might just have killed his career as quickly as itstarted.The Island of Doctor Moreau was no worse than this garbage.

(2012-03-05 21:32:26)

why are you looking at this page?

it could only be two reasons;1, you're here because you've seen a single, somewhat dog-eared, copy ofrancid alu in your local woolworth's for the last hundred years and you'rewondering if, yes, maybe you should buy it. how bad could itbe?2, secondly, you're here because you've seen it (probably on c4 the othernight) and, being so utterly bewildered by the following;a, it got released.b, actors read the script and signed up.c, someone, somewhere at a studio gave it the go ahead.d, (AND MAINLY) you were thrown by a plot that made so little sense, afilmso badly made and where none of the ideas (it's unjust to call thesepremises ideas really) made any sense or worked at all.ahem, so being so bewildered, you thought there was a deeper meaning,something you missed or didn't get that made it worthwhile. you didn't, itreally was that bad.

hinchliffe

(2012-03-04 02:10:24)

Rancid Cinema

This is the type of utter tripe that gives would-be film makers heartand despair in equal measures. Heart, in the fact that such a poorscript, such dreadful performance and such a flawed plot havebeen turned into a film. Despair that someone practically anyonewith a desire to make a film has a better screenplay that's notbeing made.The film is a shockingly bad attempt to cash in on the popularityrightfully enjoyed by Lock Stock and Snatch. Now we are all oldenough to appreciate the feeding frenzy that takes place aroundsuccess but for the love of god if you intend to dip your bread in thegravy at least be worthy. This turgid insult is without question anaberration that should never have seen the light of day. A filmwithout any and I mean any redeeming plus points.

HandyBiteSize

(2012-03-03 15:28:18)

Well this was a first...

...the first film I had to walk out on. And it was the cast andcrewpre-screening (Not that I was involved, I hasten to add). I made itthroughthe first hour, so I reckon I'm just qualified to comment, but that was mylimit.Like other comments here, how did this get through any kind of QA. Anaccumulation of the very worst in dialogue, the epitome of wooden acting,awful casting, all wrapped together without a plot.Tara Fitzgerald's casting was bizarre, almost comic. She possesses theworstRussian accent in movie history.As I left the screening, the director and producers were drinking in a baroutside the cinema. They obviously couldn't sit through it againeither.